Areas to focus on

Relationships have a cycle to them?

John Gottman mentions in relationships there’s a flow to them, that over time they have a way of spiraling back around… between good times and not so good times.

Scanning for something to show appreciation for

Instead of looking or negatives look for areas of appreciation where you can express your gratitude on a routine basis.

What makes good friendships?

Love Maps - ask questions; how do you like your job now; how is your friend doing; etc…. try making 50% of things you say to people a question

Fondness and Admiration - Culture of appreciation - in tiny ways and often

Turn towards one another - bids for attention; rebids happen very seldom,

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What makes good friendships?

Love Maps - ask questions; how do you like your job now; how is your friend doing; etc…. try making 50% of things you say to people a question

Fondness and Admiration - Culture of appreciation - in tiny ways and often

Turn towards one another - bids for attention; rebids happen very seldom,

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Marriages last to the extent that the irritating qualities you both have… you both can find common ground around

How can you make things work better

Gentle starts ups - soften the start-up;

Accepting influence from one another - listen to what you partner is suggesting and give it a try and let them know you did

Take Time Outs - when things are going wrong and escalating

Shared Meaning

Helpful Tips