John Ball

Thirteen years ago (2006), our daughter Mary-Patrick, and her spouse, Lance, gave my wife, Linda, and me our first grandchild. Our granddaughter, Alana, is growing up to be an amazing young woman filled with love, compassion and kindness. (Oh yeah, and she’s smart, too)! In early July, 2019, our son, Stephen, and his spouse, Rachel, gave us our second granddaughter, Catherine, a beautiful, healthy, calm, and happy baby.

There is nothing more gratifying than to see my children being loving and nurturing parents. When asked how my fathering may inform his parenting, my son responded by saying, “Oh Dad, that’s easy; you love us unconditionally. We know you and Mom are always there for us no matter what. That’s the kind of father I want to be.”

Can you share a funny moment on Fatherhood:

When I was student in seminary in Alexandria, Virginia, my children were young, ages 7 and 5. For three years, my wife and kids were fully immersed in the seminary’s communal life, and our son and daughter often thought of and referred to themselves as seminarians, too. One Sunday afternoon, after church, we stopped by the local bank to get some cash. With it being Sunday, the bank was closed, and no one was around. I stepped out of the car, approached the ATM, and happened to look down at the front door and noticed a small yellow bird huddling in the corner against the door. It was a cockatiel, a domesticated bird that had apparently escaped its cage from one of the nearby high rise apartments that surrounded the bank. I went to the ATM, got the cash, and came back to the bird, who was still where I had first spotted him. Crouching down, I held out my finger and touched his breast. The bird stepped onto it, and I slowly approached the car. My wife was sitting in the front seat and my kids were in the back. As I slowly began to sit down in the driver’s seat in front of the steering wheel, my wife looked at me and said, “You’re not going to get into the car with that thing, are you?” Explaining that the bird was not wild and had most likely flown off one of the nearby balconies overlooking the bank, I placed the bird on my knee and started the car to drive home. Without missing a beat, my 7 year old son, Stephen, looked over at his 5year old sister, Mary-Patrick, and in a clear voice said, “Well, first Dad thought he was seminarian, now he thinks he’s St.Francis!”

Can you share a favorite book title on being a Man:
”Falling Upward” by Richard Rohr

Can you share a favorite book title on being a Father:
”Finding God at Home: Family Life as a Spiritual Discipline”, by Earnest Boyer

Is there anyone you would like to dedicate this project to:
I dedicate this project to my son, Stephen, and my daughter, Mary-Patrick, who are amazing parents of our granddaughters, Alana (13) and Catherine (6 months), and to my beloved wife, Linda, who has taught and encouraged me to be the best husband and father I can be.

Bill Brennan

Bill is a psychotherapist, certified addiction professional and a spiritual director. He’s a Great grandfather, Grandfather of five and Father of two. He’s been married 42 years to his wife Joy. In their spare time Bill and Joy; train service dogs, enjoy walks in nature, attending concerts and facilitating story telling groups as well as other small groups

Can you share a funny moment on Fatherhood:
My daughter came to me one evening just before bedtime showing me evidence that our dog ate her homework. Two half pages were left with dog slobber on them. My wife was laughing too hard to do anything about it. I was then elected to write a note to her teacher explaining that this disaster was real. It was the most difficult thing I ever wrote. Fortunately for my daughter, her teacher believed me.

Can you share a favorite book title on being a Man:
“Wild Man to Wise Man” by Richard Rohr.

Can you share a favorite book title on being a Father:
“Systematic Training for Effective Parenting” by Dinkmeyer and McKay.

Is there anyone you would like to dedicate this project to:
I dedicate my time in this webinar to my grandchildren and great grandchild. I want them to have a spiritual life filled with the awareness of God’s love, acceptance, grace and pervasive Presence.

Terry Chapman

Terry loves to nurture “holding places” where people can remember the natural insight, warmth, and courage that dwells in each human. He calls this “essential blessing,” an identity that lies, often buried, under accumulated layers, ranging from distraction to shame. Terry is a Christian minister serving in the Presbyterian Church (USA), spiritual director, retreat leader, and poet. He is also a Certified Convening Leader practicing the Art of Convening. He is a father of two young adults near the beginning of their own journeys and married to Jan who is a practicing psychotherapist specializing in trauma. He loves long contemplative walks in the woods with his yellow lab, Chai.

Can you share a funny moment on Fatherhood:
I recalled an experience when my children, McKenzie and Nathaniel, ages five and two, taught me a valuable lesson. The lesson in “Sabbath time” came one evening after 30 minutes of trying to persuade them that it was bedtime. My patience began to wear thin. It was late. I was tired. They were tired. We were cranky. As my frustration escalated, so did theirs. I was beside myself, which is a nice way of saying that I was acting from a place that did not represent my authentic self. Finally, in a sharp tone, I said, “Go to bed now! I don’t have time for this!” Silence. Then McKenzie looked up at me and said, “Daddy, you don’t like kids, do you?” Hearing my daughter’s response to those words surely took the wind out of my sails. I stopped in my tracks. Then I talked about my frustration and apologized for my outburst. We found ourselves in Nathaniel’s room, he in the bed beside me and she nestled on my lap. There we sat for what must have been, although I’m not sure, a half-hour. It was a joy-filled, peace-washed time. Gratitude welled up from my heart as I thought about the precious gift of my children, and I offered prayers from that place in my heart. God be with us. God was. God is.

Can you share a favorite book title on being a Man:
Cristian Wiman, “My Bright Abyss: Meditation of a Modern Believer”

Can you share a favorite book title on being a Father:
Judith Viorst, “Necessary Losses: The Loves, Illusions, Dependencies, and Impossible Expectations That All of Us Have to Give Up in Order to Grow”

Is there anyone you would like to dedicate this project to:
I dedicate this project to my son Nathanial

Bill Weber

The collage above captures my top priority – i.e. my family….my adult daughter (and family) and son on the right and my wife and step-daughter on the left. They are my pride and joy. In and around being with them, I spent 34+ years in a corporate career that gave me a chance to lead global organizations before I retired 6 years ago. Now, I get to spend my next phase of life working as a network entrepreneur and life coach in Richmond, VA helping advance some collective impact non-profits address thorny social service needs of the community. When I make time for “me”, it is usually either with a group focused on spiritual/self development, working outdoors or on the tennis court!

Can you share a funny moment on Fatherhood:

It’s actually a series of moments….and are related to the fact that I am fairly high energy…and known as a “work hard, play hard” type. So….as a result, I am (in)famous for falling asleep at the drop of a hat. When the kids were toddlers, it was when I was “reading” them a bedtime story…until they got up to get Mom to tuck me in! Later, when we were driving on family vacations, I would insist on driving and invariably start falling asleep behind the wheel after a couple of hours of drive time. And then they could always count on me falling asleep while watching a Sunday football game – which is when they would invariably wake me up just enough to sign the papers for school when they had marginal results. I guess they learned how to adapt to my predictable behavior…and shift it from a frustrating or dangerous experience for them to one from which they could take advantage!

Can you share a favorite book title on being a Man:
“Wild Man to Wise Man” – Richard Rohr (I know, not very original)

Can you share a favorite book title on being a Father:
“Fiddler on the Roof” (okay, so it’s not a book. I still love it’s message on the messiness of life and how you need to adjust how you practice the wisdom of the traditions you inherited.)

Is there anyone you would like to dedicate this project to:
My son, Tim. He has helped me realize that “we don’t raise our kids, our kids raise us”! He is entering his fourth decade of life well along his journey of “wild man to wise man”. I am proud to be called his father.

Ben Marchman

Ashley and I have been married for 10 years and have raised two children ~ Flora (2years) and Wiley (8months). We both grew up in GA but haven’t been back and living in GA since the early 1990’s. We now live in Sharpsburg GA on the farm that I grew up and was raised on. It has been wonderful exploring the woods that I grew up exploring with my children + nieces/nephews.

Can you share a funny moment on Fatherhood:

I am a Life Coach and Vision Quest Guide. At times my daughter Flora sometimes comes along to ceremonial programs that I do for the community. Some of these are nature-based overnight or even multi day programs. Long story short, I recently decided to take Flora on her first weekend overnight trip with my wife’s permission to a grief and trauma council we were doing for a group up in the mountains of north GA. I thought she would be ok just playing off to the side as we held this deep sacred space for the folks talking through their life stories. She was not only a natural at making conversations and helping out with tending the fire but she also did well at sitting next to me while listening to everyone speak. At the time it wasn’t funny but now it can be laughed at….there was a moment when we were passing around a beautiful ceremonial talking stick the entire group spent two days crafting and making. Each member was to hold the stick and present their initiation story from their threshold experience to the group so the rest of the group could mirror it back. Then it arrived to Flora, so I whispered, “say I pass and we will skip you to go on to the next person”…she frowned at me, then with a mischievous smile on her face she threw the entire stick into the fire! At the time it was not funny but now it is quite amusing.

Can you share a favorite book title on being a Man:
There are so many!....one of my favorites is “Wild at Heart” by John Eldredge

Can you share a favorite book title on being a Father:
“The Good Dad” by Jim Daly

Is there anyone you would like to dedicate this project to:
To my father’s father – Big Bob. He past many years ago but was an honorable and calm spirit who showed compassion with everyone he met.

Anthony Monticchio

Jeannie and I purchased 4 acres along the Millstone River in central NJ back in 1985 and together raised our three children; Christopher, Alicia and Nicholas, along with a bunch of farm animals. Now we enjoy spending time with our 3 grandsons; Jackson, Benjamin and Maxwell (pictured) our children, their spouses and all the animals.

Can you share a funny moment on Fatherhood:
One Saturday morning when Chris and Alicia were around 4, Jeannie went shopping and I was watching the kids. They were being good sitting on their bean bag chairs and watching a movie. I decided it would be good time to get a jumpstart on cutting the grass. Jeannie had come home and was waving me over. With a bit of sternness in her voice she said. “you have to see what the kids did while you were watching them”.

Can you share a favorite book title on being a Man:
Robert Johnson’s Trilogy - “He, She, We”

Can you share a favorite book title on being a Father:
Dan Siegel’s new book, “The Power of Showing Up”

Is there anyone you would like to dedicate this project to:
My Dad. We lost him when I was 22. His calm, caring and loving Spirit continues to guide me, while working on the project. Thanks for the memories Dad.

Tom Pawlak

Mary and I raised three beautiful kids- two boys and a girl. We have three granddaughters from 7 to 16-years old. I love taking them on long walks on clear nights to see the moon, stars, satellites and meteors. I cherish giving them an experience of God in those awe-filled moments in nature.

Can you share a funny moment on Fatherhood:
When my youngest son, John, was about 5-years old I recall taking him to the bathroom at half-time during his older sister’s basketball game. The urinals were old fashioned and very wide so I said to him, “I bet I can hit that fly on the bottom of the urinal before you can.” The fly escaped but the competition was on. Our streams crossed and we made it into a hilarious mock sword fight. A voice from a stall behind us called out “I can’t believe what I’m hearing out there!”

Can you share a favorite book title on being a Man:
Richard Rohr with Joseph Martos’ book “From Wild Man to Wise Man” comes first to mind.

Can you share a favorite book title on being a Father:
The only one that comes to mind at this time is Henri Nouwen’s book “Return of the Prodigal Son”.

Is there anyone you would like to dedicate this project to:
Yes, to young fathers who have the courage, desire and wisdom to seek pathways of being both a loving and generative dad.

Scott Wehner

I live in Warrenton, VA as a transplant from the Finger Lakes region of Western NYS. My three daughters are scattered from MD to NC, with the eldest living with my three grandchildren within an hour's drive from me in VA. I am very recently "retired".
My life raising my daughters was a serious rollercoaster ride as all three were, and still are, clinically hyperactive with my middle daughter also being very attention deficit. Talk about herding cats! I never knew what mayhem lurked around the next corner, the product of very productive and fertile minds.

Can you share a favorite book title on being a Man:
"On the Threshold of Transformation" - Richard Rohr

Can you share a favorite book title on being a Father:
"Wild Man to Wise Man" - Richard Rohr

Is there anyone you would like to dedicate this project to:
My grandson, Joseph.

Peter Zellner

Stacy and I live in Atlanta Ga with our three children Hayley (16), Aaron (8) and CJ (7). Life is spent in the normal juggling of jobs, honey do lists and boys practices. In between this is a calling to bring even more life and richness into my day to day.

Can you share a funny moment on Fatherhood:
My wife says that Hayley and I are each other's 'spirit animals' when it comes to dancing at weddings. There is a serious competition on the dance floor as to who can come up with the goofiest move. My daughter is a relentless opponent.

Can you share a favorite book title on being a Man:
”Your Golden Shadow” - William A Miller

Can you share a favorite book title on being a Father:
”Owning your Own Shadow” - Robert A. Johnson

Is there anyone you would like to dedicate this project to:

To all men and the silent struggle within. Hope and peace. 

Matthew Berberich

Marilyn and I grew up in the same town in northern Illinois. I walked by her house every day in the summer, as a kid, to the community swimming pool long before I knew her. I was 19 and she was 16 when we started dating and we got married in 1980 after dating for four years. Ten years later we had our first son and our second son was born three years later (I'll just say the second seemed like way more than one more child!) We now have two beautiful grandkids that are one and three. We've lived in Atlanta for almost 30 years.

Can you share a funny moment on Fatherhood:
It's interesting what memories your grown children hold on to... One they mention frequently at Christmas time especially is the Santa traps we built together each year. I worked in a manufacturing plant as an engineer when they were little and used to bring home "interesting stuff." I brought home some electronic photo-eyes, wired them up to some kind of alarm and put them in front of our fireplace to catch Santa when he came down the chimney. We were certain we'd catch him this time! In the morning the boys saw white dusting off footprints across the carpet to where the cookies and milk had been placed. There they saw an empty glass and an empty plate with cookie crumbs. The boys were more determined than ever to catch Santa next year. I stood by remembering how much I enjoyed the cookies and carefully wiping the flour off the bottom of my shoes.

Can you share a favorite book title on being a Man:
One I've come back to again and again for twenty-five years is "The Rag and Bone Shop of the Heart - Poems for Men" poems collected together by Robert Bly, James Hillman, and Michael Meade

Can you share a favorite book title on being a Father:
Brene Brown's work has been a tremendous help to me as a father and husband. All her books have much value to me but if you like audio, I recommend a 6hr recording of her live in a multi-day workshop. In it she covers the content of three of her books. I've listened to this recording at least a dozen times and i'm about to listen to it again. It's called "The Power of Vulnerability"

Is there anyone you would like to dedicate this project to:
I'd like to dedicate this to my best friend Mike Agnew that lost his battle with cancer in 2019. We walked together, for over 40yrs, on a journey striving to be better husbands, fathers, leaders and men. I continue that journey with his spirit with me now.

Paul Koch

I am a father of three children in their 20s and am proud that each followed part of my footsteps - Aaron is serious and is in grad school to be an educator, Joel is adventurous living in New York and working in media, Grace is strong in her faith leadership and practices wide inclusion. My wife, Marcia delivered all three via C-section so I feel guilty that I saw all three kids first; I never will forget how Aaron, our first, stared widely into my eyes at birth. I am longing for grandkids!!! but none is in a relationship (that I know of). So, I am blessed to have Liza, my spirit animal dog and meditation partner. I am widely active in Illuman upon my MROP in 2015. Brother energy and love fills my container. I am honored to work with you men who will enable mindful masculinity to grow in our world.

Can you share a funny moment on Fatherhood:
I loved taking my kids trick-or-treating and one night it was pouring down rain. We kind of lost all sense of control. The rest involves flatulence when a door opened so I will stop there.

Can you share a favorite book title on being a Man:
"Season of Life: A Boy, A Football Hero and a Journey to Manhood" by Jeffrey Marx

Can you share a favorite book title on being a Father:
Les Miserables by Victor Hugo

Is there anyone you would like to dedicate this project to:
I dedicate this to my own father, who is softening in his old age.